The Integral

Antzzzzzzzz Oh what a mania they are, especially in this place Kgp, and more so in the season of summer that comes right after spring. They are just everywhere. Outside my room, inside my room, on the walls, on the floor, on the clothes, inside them too, on the monitor, inside the cpu, keyboard, plug points, everywhere…

What is it with ants and summer? Why dont they just die?

It so happened I still remember in first year of college. I had a big spacious clean and bright room all for myself. But there were ants too! Would you believe what all I’d do to keep them away from my bed? They would just creep up the legs of the bd, on to my bedding and inside my clothes. Nights were horrible. Sometimes I used to put Lakshman Rekha (ant killing chalk powder) around the bed’s legs. At times I would just put mugs of water all over my room. To flood the ants away and bring some cooling effect to the room. At other times, I would use small cups filled with water and place the legs of the bed in those cups. :( It was horrible and it still is…

People here often try to gather sympathy by putting up their GTalk statuses claiming their rooms to be under antz attack.

Today morning, I got an email from a friend. She wrote me a mail after quite some time… This is what she wrote:

Dear Adi,
Lemme tell u bout the recent excitement going on in our daily monotonous routine at home.

In order to counteract the massive attack launched by an army of red ants at my usual peaceful abode, we decided to launch an anti-red ant attack.

In this regard dad bought a packet of gamaxine which is known to be an effective red ant killer!!

One fine morning mom asked dad to spread it wherever he could (mom happened to be sick herself dat day). Dad did it accordingly and we all hoped we had seen the last of those bas%%%%.

A day passed, the ants kept up their attack on us…we waited…we hoped…another day passed…they seemed to have increased their attack…another day…now we were astounded!! their number seemed to have increased manifold!!!

Now enters the detective team comprising of 2 members (mom and me) to get to the heart of the matter. After several false leads we finally gathered certain scraps of evidence against a certain person whom we had thought trustworthy. We strengthened our case. And then the fateful day (today) …we sounded the final verdict…

There happened to be a certain small packet of crushed sugar in the pantry which sorrof looked similar to the gamaxine packet and which mom had been missing ever since that day. Dad got excited seeing it without even thinking it might be otherwise and instead of spreading the gamaxine spread the sugar everywhere!!!

We simply do not know how to even start cleaning up our house coz its very obvious its an impossible task…..God help us and please pray for our quick recovery from this massive scandal…

Yours…
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Wow, what a disaster! I sincerely pray for all those of you who are victims of Antz attacks in Kgp and beyond.
My prayers go out to one and all, all over the world.

May Antz NOT be with you.